Last Saturday bawak Bibik pegi jumpa doctor lagi. Dah turun her bp ~ 140 (I can't remember the lower one). The doctor was satisfied with the reading but she had to prescribed the pills which Bibik was taking now. That ubat is expensive, about RM160 per month. That is like almost half of Bibik's salary. Betullah dia kata, dia datang kerja sini untuk beli ubat aje. Habis apa nak buat. She is not supposed to have that in the first place. Nak kata dia tension duduk kat sini, dia nak tension apa. Semuanya provided for. Kerja bukan banyak nak buat. My house ~ taklah berkilat-kilat bersih, toilet ~ I still have to berus lagi, masak ~ I still have to masak, Bibik cuma goreng ikan and masak sayur aje. Nak kata I marah-marah and berleter ~ tak ada rasanya. I asked the doctor to write a prescription, I cuma nak beli kat pharmacy aje through a friend of mine. Boleh dapat cheaper.

I have to play doctor to check Bibik's bp every morning. So far so good. If naik lagi, I don't know what to say and do lagi.

Today, I send Bibik with the two younger daugthers to mak's place. Biar dia jaga kat rumah mak. I have to wait for Kakak till she goes to school at 1 pm. Then, rasanya nak pegi tengok wayang, nak tengok Cinta if ada lagi ditayangkan. I will give a review later.

Frankly, I want to enjoy myself. I think I deserve it. If no one appreciate me, might as well, appreciate diri sendiri. Do I sound frustrated and sad? Actually I am. After two months of slavery (layan baby tak kira masa and tempat), I feel I have drained myself. Hubby? Tak tahulah nak cakap macam mana. He is at another galaxy eventhough he is physically on earth. I can't reach to him anymore. I can't talk to him in the same wavelength anymore. We just don't talk anymore. That's all I can say.....

It would be nice to hear something nice from your love one or receive something nice, it doesn't have to be expensive. It brings tear to my eyes bila teringatkan memori lama. Not many but adalah. Tak tahulah what will be my feeling when I see Cinta nanti. Teringat Dato Rahim Razali dalam promo Cinta = "Isteri bukanlah hak milik tapi satu anugerah". How many husband feels that way?.......