My next doctor's appointment is tommorrow. I doubt I can go back to work by next week. My neck is still swollen and my voice is still hoarse. Mak said because I ate egg. Well, I did actually, sampai dua biji sekali. I made sunny side up eggs and Amir tak nak makan, so I ate them all.

I am taking Gamat Healing and TF now. Baru dua hari. I am supposed to start on that two weeks ago but tak sempat nak pergi beli. Harapkan my beloved husband memang hopeless in that region!! Hopefully, I will be ok for the next one or two weeks.

I think I gain weight as well duduk kat rumah. Beside, I think my metabolism rate went haywired too.

Staying home has its challenge too. More so when we are not well and cant go anywhere. So, I try not to sleep too much but not to munch on something is quite hard actually. I am not a chip person and I would munch on something really heavy like bread or kuih or nugget and then still have full course of lunch, kadang-kadang siap dengan dessert (ice cream or bread pudding or cake). In my fridge, those things memang ada in stock.

So, friends and foes, if you see me later at the office, please excuse my weight. I would use reason that my metabolism rate has gone haywired because of the lack of thyroid hormon!

Another day of recovering. I havent taken anything to speed the healing process. Some poeple would take Air Gamat, Jeli Gamat, TF or ikan haruan ke. I am not at all. Concerned gak but what to do, Amir pun tak tanya apa-apa, and I pun tak mintak apa-apa. But finally, I did ask Amir to look for Jeli Gamat. I was actually to get the TF but I just dont have the time to go to Amcorp Mall to get it. It was so hectic the day I was supposed to be warded. Repair the car's aircon which cost me RM1100 (my money earned through the ESOS!), groceries to feed more than 10 people (all will be here at my home!), not to forget the last minute thing I need to do for the office before the long medical leave.

Today, the swollen has improved a bit though it is still feel sore and tight below the chin.

I guess may be some of you are wondering why I have to remove my thyroid. Here's the chain of event that led to the removal of my poor thyroid:

June 2008 - detected a lump on my right side of the neck. Ultrasound was done. There's a cyst on the right lobe of the thyroid. Through the ultra sound, it was clear that my thyroid was enlarged. No traces of hyperthyroidism. My hormon was normal.

Nov 2008 - Take another ultra sound, no much changes to the thyroid. The cyst on the right lobe dissappeared but the left one seems to enlarge even bigger. Dato Dr Shah of SMC (KPJ SSH) wanted me to decide whether to remove it or not. Nothing medically dangerous but cosmetically was not really pretty. I was diagnosed as Multinodular Goiter.

Dec 2008 - Went for tonsil operation. Dr Satwant took over from Dato Dr Shah. He advised me to remove it before it become malignant. I have the history of cancer in the family. Ina had her thyroid removed much earlier and was suspected as cancer. (Luckily her cancer cell is not active).

Jan 2009 - Went to Cameron Highland and met this guy with very large growth in his neck. It something like the photo below (taken here: http://www.healthline.com/channel/goiter_images?id=gem_03_img0313) but this guy was bigger, covered all his neck area.

Feb 2009 - Went to see Dr Satwant again and set the date for the operation.

18 Mar 2009 - the big day and now I am left without the thyroid. It is a total thyroidectomy which means total thyroid was removed (both lobes and the isthmus). But Dr Satwant able to preserve the gland to produce calcium biologically.

Update at 10.35 pm, photo taken from http://thyroid.about.com/gi/dynamic.

Mine is a bit worse that what you saw in this photo, the incision is about 4 inches wide. Photo shown here is may be about 2-3 inches. Still swollen and stiffed.

Another day of trying to make the best out my condition now. It has been difficult actually, with a neck like this. My bath is lower the neck level so just imagine how unsatisfactorily is the feel. Ok, sabarlah skit lagi. The sticthes is healing very well, I hope it wont leave any scar or keloid like Ina's. Still feel a bit tight around the neck. Other than that, I think I am ok. Oh ya, my voice is yet to recover. Hopefully soon.

What else ye, Siti has gone back to her house in Klang with the baby. Mak ikut sama. So, it is just me and bibik and Sarah at home. sigh.

No activity whatsoever now, so boringlah. I guess this is the time I have to look back and focus on what I want to achieve. Dunia and Akhirat. Allah tooks my organs one by one. I had my gallbladder removed in 1997, then my tonsil in Dec 2008 and now my thyroid. I was constantly reminded by Him that all these are pinjaman and they have to be returned sooner or later. Kalau tak sedar lagi tu, tak tahu nak cakap apa lagi. Anyway, I just pray that I would be a better person with akhlak yang mulia (with less organ inside my body!) and whoever I made them angry or terasa hati, please forgive me.

That's all for today.

I SURVIVE! Alhamdullillah, praised to Almighty.

I survive the 2-hour operation to remove my ailing thyroid but it was difficult experience this time. First thing first, I am not in pain like before. I had several organ removal operation before this and I was in pain but not this time. So, going into the OT was really scary. Anyway, thank you to all the wishes.

Amir was really helpful, he took care of me especially the night after the operation. I could hardly open my eyes, couldnt even lift my leg because of the anasthetics. Suapkan makanan but of course after two spoons of nasi, I couldnt eat anymore. Thank you Sayang. But I send him home after two nights with me at the hospital. He slept like a log! Dah tak boleh mintak tolong lagi dah.

So far, i oklah. The doctor is able to preserve my calcium gland so I dont have to take any calcium pills as a supplement. Suara is still serak like Ella(that's what the other manggisians said after they visited me td) but I hope to regain my voice back soon. Leher still bengkak and uncomfortable. So, doakanlah agar cepat sembuh.

It has been a while since I blog. A lot of things happen since then.

Ok, first thing first:

1) I am going for a long medical leave from 16th Mar. Most probably for a month or so. Nothing really life threatening medical reason but I need to deal with it now. So, friends and foes, please forgive me. I have forgiven all of you too. Manalah tau kan. Anyway, my doctor said eventhough there is risks to it but my body is at the optimum level to go for the operation. I hope I do well.

2) Secondly, things are quite tense at the office currently. Somebody is really upset with me right now. But, I guess I am just too busy and too tense about the operation to think about it, I just let it be. Entahlah, too many things in my head right now. Nak siapkan macam-macam before I go for the long medical. So, people, if you come to know about the story from that somebody, it is up to you to believe it and make your own judgement. I dont really care what you think of me. (Arni sure tak percaya apa I tulis nih being a neutral expert!) I just want to do my job. period!

3)Thirdly, MySarah and Izzaty were down with HFMD last week. For four days, MySarah only survive on Soy Milk kotak. She cant drink her milk at all. Izzaty was much better coz she was not that serious. The fact that she is 6-year and senang nak bagi ubat mades her recovery much faster. But, they are ok now.Phew!!!

4) Forthly, I am still struggling with Aisyah. She has no sense of urgency at all. Homework to her is two hours of writing ayat in Bahasa or two questions of Mathematic.

Ok, apa lagi, other than work. Oh ya, I went to Digital Mall in USJ this evening and saw something I like. So, it is either E71 or E66 . What do you think?