I was on MC last Friday. Demam and flu, Amir and the kids also down with flu and batuk. We sent the kids to the babysitter while both of us terbaring kat rumah. Teruk betul rasanya with no one is functioning but somebody has to get up to do the cooking and etc. So, with no other option left, I had to prepare lunch. It was already 2.30 pm. Later, in the evening, we packed everything and went to mak's. Picked up the kids and had dinner there.

I had a big fight with Amir. I felt that he doesn't care about the baby. I know he doesn't want it in the first place. My biological clock is ticking. I can't wait for next year. He never asked about the baby, when is my next appointment, is the baby ok, how much I pay for the monthly check up etc. I was feeling really sad. He said, he's tired with the assignment, the kids and his work. He doesn't have anything left inside him to ask about the baby. Tak tahulah, a simple gesture of care and love is good enough for me. I hope he will change after the baby comes out. Mak told me, Ayah prayed for a baby boy for us kat Mekah masa dia pegi umrah hari tu.

Sunday 23/07/2006:

Amir was out from morning till 12 midnight. He went to his class in the morning, later in the evening, he had to entertain Sirim's guest from Uganda. Siap bawak pi shopping, dinner etc. I work my butt off kat rumah, cook breakfast, lunch and dinner, bawak the kids main kat playground, wash my car (yes, I washed my car!!) with the kids, pegi beli kasut sekolah kakak kat Puchong Prima (kasut tak kering punya pasal), iron the clothes, get the kids ready for bed, washed the dishes and buang sampah. Pheww....and he was enjoying seafood dinner kat muara!! Geram betul. Well, he did apologize to me but that was not enough. Amir would go all the way to gembirakan orang lain. Berkorban apa saja sampai tuang his afternoon class to entertain orang lain. Kalau bini sendiri, mintak maaflah, kenalah pandai-pandai membahagiakan diri sendiri. I said to him, you have no idea what you would miss untill it is too late. You always takes things for granted. Just because I am here, hidup lagi, you have no idea what you have!! Geram betul....